Change is Inevitable

Nothing can stop change. Times change. People change. Attitudes change. 


Change is eternal, as the saying goes. But is all change good; or is all change desirable? This is a question that is central as many of our problems circle our ability, or inability, to handle change.

Nature has programmed every living thing for change. We grow to adulthood and old age from being babies. Buds flower, the chrysalis becomes the butterfly, the foal becomes a horse. And growth and change is not limited to life and living things alone. Even non-living things are in the throes of change. The river changes its course as it journeys to the sea, the sea pulverises rocks into smooth pebbles, mountains blow up as volcanoes and the magma from the innards of the earth comes out as molten lava. From babies to lava, change is the spine that runs through it all.

Our problem is that we often cannot handle change. We may graciously accept that the nephew who took his first faltering steps in front of us three decades ago is now a competent neuro-surgeon. But we cannot, as easily and as graciously, accept that our colleague and competitor could also have become more competent than us in the same time span. Neither can we grapple with the situation when the backward boy in our class, the one we had written off, has now become a famous lawyer/dentist/writer! We constantly ask: but how can people not see through him... that he is a dud! The point of change is that even duds grow and become successful. The flip side of it all is that we never really examine the antecedents of the successful people we meet; we just assume that they must have been better than the backward boy in our class! Actually, they may have been much more backward...

Another aspect of change is that people vary in their attitudes to you as they rise up the ladder of success. The higher they are perched, the more perfunctory they get in their relations with you. Such is especially the case in the big cities where everyone lives life on a high-speed treadmill. Here, you are valued for your connections and your net worth, not for being the individual that you are or the values that you uphold. And, if you meet any financial reverse, do not be surprised to find your circle of friends shrinking and your calls not being returned.

Is such a change in people's attitudes good? Most certainly not. But if one is to tread the egoless path, one must not become upset with such attitudes. One cannot expect everyone to treat you with equanimity all the time. But it is also imperative not to keep accepting such treatment repeatedly if it does indeed rankle you. You have to decide how much to bend before you decide to break it off. 


After all, you are the master of your destiny.